Saturday, April 21, 2012

I'm Dreaming Again

Dear John,

You'll be happy to know that I'm dreaming again. Until last night I'd gone a week without dreaming - a normal thing for you, but downright alarming for me, since I've always had lots of long, complex, cinematic dreams. It wasn't that I was too tired to dream; I've been this tired for weeks now. I just woke up with no memory of any dreams at all.

All is well. I've dreamed for the last two nights. My mental condition must be moving in the general direction of normal. (Which I won't recognize when I get there, since I've never seen the place before.) I still don't remember much of what I dream, but it's been disappointing. I've heard lots of stories about new widows dreaming conversations with their husbands, and I was so hoping for that. But you haven't shown up at all. So please, get it together and show up for my dreams! There's nothing on earth that I want more than to have a conversation with you. (Actually, I can't think of anything else on earth that I want at all.) In the meantime I'll continue my one-way conversation here - rather like talking to you after you were entubated, but you communicated so well without talking that it sometimes seemed like you were.

Somebody threw a perfect game today - the bad news is that it was for the White Sox. Sorry to have to break that to you. The Cubs stink so far; nothing new there. I'm ready for football season. The Blue-Gold game was today but I'm holding out for the Steelers. 

I'm headed to bed, and to church in the morning. It will be good to be there, but I'll miss you. Remember to pray for me.

Good night - I love you.
Joan.

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