Sunday, May 20, 2012

Happy Anniversary

Dear John,

Happy anniversary - our first one apart. Where do I start telling you how I feel?

First, this morning at church we had 40-day prayers for you and Dick. It helped to remember that it's a celebration of your arrival in Heaven. It was so much harder for me since it fell on May 20th.

Remember our anniversary last year? Yet another car disaster - something we were always inexplicably prone to on our anniversary. Our first anniversary was when the battery fell into the fan in Savannah in a monsoon, in that old yellow Vega. Our last one was when we got lost on that dirt road in Michigan and blew a tire - the first tire we blew that day. We decided last year that we would not leave the house on our anniversary, ever again. Like Bob Dylan in the Talking Bear Mountain Picnic Massacre Blues, we'd have a picnic in our bathroom. This isn't what I expected. I would so love to have had a car disaster with you today!

I'll always remember the three things you told me in January in Indy, things you wanted to be sure I knew in case you didn't make it out of the cath lab. One of them was that you'd been happier married to me than you ever thought it was possible to be. And you know I felt the same way. Marriage to you was wonderful, much better than I'd ever dreamed. We were truly one flesh - we still are. I spent all our married years marveling at how happy I was, always grateful. When we got married I loved you as much as it was possible for me to love; 34 years later (and older), I love you so much more than I did then. You were all I wanted - you still are. 

Thank you for so many happy years. Thank you for the life we made together. Thank you for what you helped make me into. Thank you for giving me so much of yourself. Thank you for all of you that is still here, still part of me and my life. 

I'm going to bed now, to cry myself to sleep. (If I cry too hard, I'll remember our wedding night and have a good laugh with you about it!) 

Love you more than all the world put together,
Your wife.

No comments:

Post a Comment