Thursday, May 24, 2012

I Miss Your Winter Boots

Dear John,

My back is better but my heart isn't. I'm still trying to get my feet back under me after taking your clothes to Goodwill this morning. There was a big box of my clothes, too, mostly stuff I haven't worn for a while. But I also got rid of all my sexy nightgowns, including the one I bought for last summer's vacation that didn't happen, and never wore. They might as well go to someone else - I'll never wear them again. 

Tonight has been so hard! It hurts to know that your clothes aren't here anymore. Illogical, but I can be just as illogical as anybody else when I put my mind to it. Everybody says it's the little every-day things that hit you, and I guess clothes fit that description. I expected it to be easy to pack up the clothes and hard to order the headstone, but it turned out to be the opposite. It may be because the headstone is for me, too. Packing up your clothes has an air of finality about it. I know - I'm being illogical again. 

It is good that I have a deadline for all of this - I have to have the house ready for Jen and Elyssa to move in around the middle of June. Yesterday I got everything out of Jen's room. Now I have to clear out the office for Elyssa. It looks completely overwhelming, but it will get done. I'll have to set up a work space in the basement, which will mean re-working and organizing it - something I've needed to do for a long time. This will require an electrician, however. I can't get by on one outlet and four bare bulbs.

Sorry to bother you with all these details. Let me sum up: Your clothes are gone. Dog and I are having a rough time with that. We'll get through it. But in the words of the prayers, it was an act of almsgiving in your name, and that is good and right. 

We'll be better soon. Please pray for your little family! 

Love you with all my heart,
Joan.

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