Feeling Glad to be Alive Today

Dear John,

I had another good day. Melinda and I went shopping in Fort Wayne. And when I woke up this morning I was glad to be alive. That sounds silly, but it's a huge milestone for me. I'm sure there will be days that I'll feel otherwise. But for now I'm glad to be alive. I had hoped one day I would be, but I can't say I really expected it to happen.

I've learned that grief isn't linear. The good days and bad days seen to come in cycles. But with every round, the good days are better and the bad days aren't as bad. I never know what the next day will be like. But I'm beginning to feel some little bit of hope. And that's another milestone that I doubted would come.

By the way, thanks for the kick in the rear you gave me this afternoon. I wasn't sure about spending the money for a laptop case. But I could hear you telling me that I'd use it for years, it would probably last longer than I will, and for a laptop case you want to buy good quality. Anyway, I did buy it, I do love it, and Jen says it's cool, too.

I'm working tomorrow so the dog and I need to get some sleep. And it was over 100 again today so we're both feeling the heat. There were big storms tonight in the county - to the north, south, east, and west of us. We didn't get a drop.

So please keep praying for rain for us. And for more nights without nightmares. And anything else that you can see that I need. I love you so, so, so much!

Joan.