Wednesday, July 11, 2012

We Need to Talk About My Dreams

Dear John,

We need to talk. About my dreams. They're getting more normal - which means more vivid, longer, more complex, and more often I wake up and go back to sleep and the dream continues where I left off.

This would be good if the dreams were like the ones I've had all my life: benign and vastly entertaining. But these are nasty, and it's starting to wear on me.

They're all different but they're all the same. You have some health crisis and I'm trying to save you. I'm trying to get you out of a situation, or get you to a hospital, or get doctors to listen and take you seriously, or get them to treat you, or something like that. Last night I was struggling to get you to a hospital while the North Vietnamese Army was invading Goshen and transportation was impossible. Every time the responsibility is all mine, and I'm trying desperately, fighting tooth and nail, to save you.

Not such a shocking dream, huh? But exhausting and upsetting. I'm dreading going to bed because I know those dreams will start all over again. I had enough of the real-life experience the first three months of this year. I do not want any more of it. I'm worn out.

So please, let's do something different tonight - something normal and low-stress and enjoyable. Let's go to Mackinac Island and hike and shop, or go to Grant Park to the zoo, or to the Cincinnati Zoo, or to Holland and buy yarn, or just sit in the living room and eat pizza and watch baseball together. Lets cuddle in bed and discuss theology. Tell me again about simultaneous chess tournaments. Please, just something normal! Time together without a life-or-death crisis.

I know - I shouldn't be so demanding. But I'm waking up physically and emotionally exhausted before the day even starts. So please pray for me and for my dreams. I'm ready for an end to the nightmares - at least the ones at night. Everything has the quality of nightmare in it now. I want a dream that ends happily ever after.

Love you so much! Please be nice in my dreams tonight,

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