Thursday, September 13, 2012

Five Months

Dear John,
It's been five months today - sometimes it seems like yesterday, and sometimes like it was a hundred years ago. I'm still having this problem with time. Days come and go, but no time seems to pass or to have any meaning for me. I'm stuck in some kind of eternal present, with a distant past but no future.
I subbed at BNI this morning, met with Michael, then had errands to run. I really wanted to go to Panera today - I bought a loaf of raisin bread to make it feel a little less pathological - and enjoyed the visit and the hugs, as I alway do. But I have wonderful news for you! Matt has been transferred back and is general manager there again, to the great delight of staff and customers alike. I was thrilled to hear it, and knew you'd be glad. I was standing there this morning thinking how much I miss seeing Matt there when I go in. I'll try to stop by in the next couple of days - I may even get his wedding present to him. I remember that we were going to visit my family in the Carolinas and then go to his wedding, when my car accident last summer ended those plans.
I remember how happy we were to see the end of 2011. We both said that 2012 couldn't possibly be worse. We we wrong - it has happened before. I will now make a concentrated effort to have no thoughts whatever about 2013.
Well, it's almost 9 and I haven't had dinner yet. I've spent the last three hours getting financials caught up, checkbook and savings account balanced, and three new Juice Plus customers entered. It's been a good day - going to Panera was the highlight for me. And tonight I'll have raisin toast at bedtime, in honor of you. Shall I toast you with my toast?
Love you, love you, love you!

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