Thursday, September 27, 2012

What Janis Said . . .

Dear John,
 
I'm feeling down and sad today. I'm not sure why. I had to go to Meijer, so I had lunch at Panera - that may be it, but going there usually makes me feel better. Maybe it's because Kirby has chemotherapy tomorrow, and I always get all wistful and sentimental about spending the day in the Infusion Room. Maybe it was the love songs playing overhead in Meijer. Who knows? I just know I have a Kleenex ready by the bed tonight.
 
I was washing my face a few minutes ago, with Janis running through my head. I stopped dead at the line, "I'd trade all my tomorrows for one single yesterday." I would, you know. But I don't have to trade them. When I finally have no more tomorrows, I'll have all of eternity with no more separation. (and no more housework!) I remember Ian McKellan on Acting Shakespeare, and can see him saying, "tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow."
 
I could look happily at all those tomorrows and say, "No, thanks" to them all. But I'm not given that choice. And it's okay - most days I'm okay with that. I've just been down and sad today. Which is where I started. So I'll stop now, and say good-night. I do love you so much more than life, you know. I'll gladly donate those tomorrows to somebody that wants them.
 
Hope to see you soon,
Joan.

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