Monday, October 8, 2012

Toothbrushing as a Team Sport

Dear John,
 
We had a good frost last night. When I left for work, it was 29 degrees outside. So I got out that long, red cape you got me, and wore it. I still love it - thank you so much! It was sunny and 50 by the time I got off, so I drove home with the windows part-way down. It was a beautiful, clear day that smelled like fallen leaves. 
 
I went grocery-shopping on the way home, and ran into Sharon at the store. We stopped and had a good, long talk. It was good to see her and get some time to talk and block up the center aisle at Walmart. She misses you. And in case I haven't made it clear, so do I.
 
Tonight I especially missed you when I was brushing my teeth. I don't remember exactly how it happened, but the first morning of our marriage we decided to brush our teeth together. And we never changed that. It meant so much to me - and, I think, to you, too - that we brushed our teeth together. We always puzzled over those couples on the house-hunting shows that absolutely had to have a bathroom with two sinks. Of course, we're older - our parents all grew up without any indoor plumbing or running water at all. But we also enjoyed all those little intimacies of marriage, including working out a pattern for the morning and evening routines so that we used the same bathroom - with one sink. We have two bathrooms now, but it never occurred to either of us to use separate ones. We enjoyed the time together. It was a pretty complicated dance to not trip over each other or get in each other's way, but complicated dances are lots of fun. For us, sharing a sink and brushing our teeth together was part of marriage, like decorating in a way that we'd both like, deciding where to go on vacation, and agreeing on a name for the dog. We did things together. That's what marriage is. The two become one flesh. There's joy and life in that. Give-and-take is love acted out.
 
So now I brush my teeth alone, and it's no fun! I have lots of room in the bathroom, for me and my stuff, and I don't like it at all. You know: One less bell to answer, one less egg to fry, one less man to pick up after . . . all I do is cry. Good song.
 
I'm going to try to go to sleep now. I bought a Tazo chai tea mix at Walmart, and had some tonight. It was good, but I forgot about the caffeine. So I'm going to take Benadryl, but I still may be up to see the sunrise. Silly mistake, but at least I'm not working tomorrow - all I have on the calendar is a haircut, and I need to wash the sheets. But when I can't sleep, Pinterest makes a good middle-of-the-night companion. And I have some Facebook friends that are night owls. So my night-time time is put to good use!
 
Love you so much! Missing your spit in the sink,
Joan.

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