Saturday, October 20, 2012

The Advantages of Photosynthesis

Dear John,
I'm feeling lots better, but probably doing much worse. My throat is much less sore, but whatever-it-is has gone down into my chest. So I'm on Mucinex and Prednisone, and may be calling Barb's office on Monday. I'm following my usual pattern.
I did a bit more today - shower in the morning, followed by laundry, more cooking, some household chores, more knitting. And I do feel better except for the trouble breathing. If I could just perfect photosynthesis, I wouldn't have to breathe and life would be much simpler. This is my first respiratory infection in over six months, which isn't bad. And it started the usual way: sinus drainage running down-hill.
I really want to get to church tomorrow, and will see how I'm breathing in the morning. I hate missing it, and I really need it right now so I don't look at the storm and start sinking again. And there's a pancake breakfast after the Liturgy;  I very much don't want to miss that. I'll set the alarm early so I have plenty of time to get my lungs warmed up and find out how well I'm breathing. It's a nuisance.
I know that you're glad to be free of your earthly body, especially after those last three months when everything fell apart at once. You hadn't been healthy since childhood - you probably didn't remember how it felt. And the scar tissue had spread so far, affecting your heart, lungs, throat, vocal cords, swallowing, breathing - like I said, everything fell apart at once. I'm so glad that you're free of all that. And I long to join you in that freedom. My body aches - I have pain all the time, usually everywhere except the end of my nose. But what bothers me more is the unremitting fatigue. It really feels like constant mono. I have maybe one day a quarter that I have energy - those days feel so good, I enjoy them and remember them. But most of the time, it's all I can do to remain upright and functioning. Some days, I can't even do that. So I do long to join you!
It appears that it may be a while. Jen won't let me dig, and the Lord seems intent on keeping me here for goodness-knows-what reason. And there are a few people who would really miss me. So I won't be there very soon. But I hope, by God's mercy, to be with you eventually. Save me a spot, and pray for me.
Love you huge, huge bunches,

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