Friday, November 2, 2012

Stop the Presses & Crunch the Numbers

Dear John,
Hold everything. Stop the presses. Crunch the numbers. Take a deep breath and a bubble bath. And .  .  . The numbers work. If I get a 2-day-a-week hospital job, I can keep the house. Easily. Comfortably. And I can put money into savings every month. Wow.
I'd love to keep the house. There are lots of reasons, one of which is that we built it together and lived half of our married years in it. And we've worked on it and made it what we want. I'd get to stay in Topeka - I've never lived in one part of the country as long as I've lived here. I've put down roots deeper than I ever have. I'd get to keep my infrastructure: neighbors, bank, pharmacy, post office, hardware store, hair place, car repair place, and old friends.
And I'd be where I lived for so long with you. This house is full of memories that make me happy. You're everywhere here. Outside are the trees we planted together, my four birdfeeders, Jethro's big fenced back yard, and that wonderful view across the fields. Inside is everything we chose together, from the floors and countertop to the rugs and your recliner. I'd like to grow old with them still in their places.
I've moved eighteen times - I'm extremely good at it and I hate it. I would just as soon go straight from here to Yeager Funeral Home. And if I can keep the house, I can leave it to Jen. That matters, too.
I've been thinking about how to use the space after Jen gets her own place. I think I'd like to turn Elyssa's room back into my work room. And since the furniture in Jen's room is hers, I may bring the bookcases up from the basement and turn that room into a library/office, maybe with a big chair that opens out into a bed so there's room for company. That would leave room for a sitting area or dressing table in the bedroom. There is still a lot of stuff that I'd want to get rid of - we were planning to do that together last summer, but life got in the way.
So right now, everything is on hold. I'll be okay for several months with the savings I have. But with this job, I'd be okay long-term. And that feels good. Please keep praying for me, especially for a job. And I'll keep praying too, for both of us. I want to stay here, where I was with you for 17 years.
Adore you,

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