The Death Date Zombie is back. (imagine piercing female scream here) After the last date-of-death problem in November, the COBRA was reinstated and the were bills paid. What I didn't know was that my dental and vision insurance were also cancelled. I called in the Cavalry again - left a message for Erin. This thing has become "The Error That Wouldn't Die." I think the bills will all be settled before a year is out. They would have been settled before six months if it weren't for this error. But what would I have done with my free time? I'm still amazed at how nice all the people on the phone are to me.
I've been thinking about how different I feel now that the holidays are over. The best way to describe it is that I've moved from despair to hope. Last week I had hope for hope - I didn't feel better, but felt like some day I would. This week I do feel better. And the difference is that I feel hopeful about the rest of my life. I don't love you any less, or miss you any less. The way I feel about you is the same. The difference is how I feel about my future. The only reason I can come up with is that the holidays are over, and I know that's part of it. But it's only part. The rest of it I can't explain. Maybe it's just a gift. I just know it feels so good to feel good, and I'm grateful.
|I'm coming - leave the light on.|
This photo has two meanings for me. The ladder I'm climbing is the one that leads to Heaven, and to you. But it's also the ladder from despair to hope. I do best when I climb both at the same time. I know how much you want me to be happy - we had our talks about that - and I'll never be the same kind of happy I was with you. But maybe I can live with hope instead of despair. And I know that will make you happy, too.
Love you great bunches,