Thursday, March 7, 2013

Definitely Not Today

Dear John,
 
I went to bed last night feeling as content and positive as I have in these months without you. I slept well, and for some reason woke up a mess. I've been physically exhausted and emotionally miserable all day. I know it's just another piece of the grief process, but it's a terribly uncomfortable piece. I just have days that I can't bear the thought of living the rest of my life without you. I have no idea what triggered this one. But even I can't know everything that goes on inside my head, no matter how neat and tidy I try to keep things up there. And, as I keep reminding myself, Abby pointed out that a little pain is a good thing.
 
So this picture says it for today. I have good days and bad days, and that's to be expected. Please pray for me tonight. I hope tomorrow is a better day.
 
Love you, adore you, and worship the ground you walk on,
Joan.

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