My 11-Month Report Card

Dear John,

 

It's been eleven months today. That means that a year ago we were starting our last month together. That's hard to grasp. The time thing is still a little difficult for me. I'm finding that I can handle the past, the present is getting a little easier, but the future is still a bear. I can think ahead a few months. But to think far ahead, and come face-to-face with the fact that I'll live the rest of my earthly life without you, is still more than I can bear. So I don't go there.

 

This was a good day to be off - I'm thankful that I worked late yesterday so I didn't have to go in on my day off. It snowed last night and most of today, and according to the news, the roads between here and Goshen were ice from 4 this morning until around 10. There was a seven-car pile-up on County Road 35, between 34 and 36. That early in the morning, there probably aren't many more cars than that on that stretch of road. Cars came over the hill doing fine, then slid to the bottom. There were no injuries, which probably shows that everybody had the good sense to be going slow. But I'm glad I wasn't out today.

 

We have about three inches of new snow in the back yard. Jethro has been out romping in it for a good bit of the day, while Hunter has been in the window watching the birds at the feeders. I washed the sheets and did church work on the computer. I was really tired after yesterday. Oh, and a new pope was chosen today. He's South American. He'll be the first pope from the western or southern hemispheres. Does that mean the rest have been European? And he's the first Jesuit pope, so Facebook is humming about what is a Jesuit anyway, with Catholics writing tomes about St. Ignatius of Loyola.

 

But these monthly anniversaries are tough, so all I care about tonight is that you're not here and I miss you. But I don't miss you without hope, so it's okay. I didn't get to spend the rest of my life with you, but you did spend the rest of your life with me. And wanted to. And that makes me very happy. You've always been good at making me happy.

 

Love you, love you, love you!

Joan.