Everything Sucks & I'm Doing Fine

Dear John,

 

I'm all better now - thanks for your prayers. It seems that approaching storms and cranky animals can trigger emotional unpleasantness - who knew? You probably did. You often understood me better than I did.

 

We all got a good night's sleep, since the storms broke up before they got here. We did get rain but no thunder. So I got through the night with no animals on my head. And everybody has been much better-behaved tonight.

 

I had a good day at work, and a busy one. I do a much better job when I'm not flaring. And I am enjoying my life again, now that I feel better. I'm looking forward to things that I was dreading a week ago - things like setting up my work room, and washing the windows, and weeding the flower beds. I'm finding rhythm and satisfaction in ordinary things.

 

I'm still rather disappointed to be alive. But I'm not unhappy all the time. I find things to enjoy and ways to be content. I'd choose in a heartbeat to leave all this behind. But while I'm here, I might as well make the best of it. I was driving down County Road 42 this morning, and the beauty of it this time of year is breathtaking. The flowering trees are at their peak, most of the fields are freshly turned over, new colts and calves are in the pastures. Next weekend I'll plant the flower boxes, and the house will look cared-for again.

 

It's called making the best of a bad situation. Or acting like a grown-up. I have so much to be thankful for. So I'll keep singing in the lifeboat, and looking forward to crossing the River Jordan in it. There is great joy in knowing that you're waiting and praying for me. Keep the light on!

 

Love you forever and ever,

Joan.