Of Weddings & Drugs

Dear John,

 

It's been a lovely, lovely day. Luke and Lacey are married and the wedding was beautiful. Since I'm her godmother, Lacey had me sit with her family, which was so very sweet. Father put me in charge of getting all the legal documents signed. (How many of those have we handled over the years?) The church was SRO and the fellowship hall was packed with overflow. I've considered Luke one of my unofficial godchildren, so today I felt like I was giving one godchild to another.

 

And I have news for you that I've been holding off on, in my usual stance of waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was talking to Jeanette on Thursday and she was describing her reaction to a statin. It sounded just like the way I've been feeling. So my head ran through the medicines I'm on, and I came up with Bentyl. Any antihypertensive can cause fatigue and weakness, and it can be cumulative. My need for it has been marginal this year, so I came off of it. (Nurses always practice medicine on themselves - I'm not the only one.) I felt great on Friday, wonderful on Saturday, and even better today. I haven't felt this good for three years. I feel like myself again. Myself with fibro, but myself.

 

I can't describe how good it feels to feel good. I can only say that I really felt as bad as I thought it did. The contrast is unbelievable. I worked Thursday, got up early Friday and went to South Bend then to work, and I had to force myself not to mow when I got home after 7:00 Friday evening. I'm bouncing around with energy to spare.

 

So: I can be available for an many hours as Kathy needs me to work. I won't have to bring up The D Word with Joe. I can get work done here at home that I want to do. And I may even have some sort of a life.

 

I also can't describe how grateful I am. I've wanted to tell you since Thursday, but I had to wait and be sure it was real and would last. I still have limits, and they've moved so much that I'm sure I'll make some mistakes finding where they went. I still hurt. But I feel wonderful - I always said I could handle pain better than fatigue. And this was way beyond fatigue.

 

One of my limits is that I still have to sleep, so we'd better be getting to bed. The cat's yawning and the dog is whimpering, so it's time. I love you, adore you, and worship the ground you walk on,

Joan.