Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Adding Maxine to My Widowhood Board

Dear John,
It's been a long and unusual day, and I think I'm getting punchy. And I'm entitled to do that, since it's already been tomorrow for 5 minutes.
I started out the morning with more insurance adventures. COBRA and I have a difference of opinion as to whether I paid my premium in March, and I had to send them an extra $421 this morning to keep them from cancelling my insurance on Thursday. I'm beginning to think I need to get hit by a car and run up some medical bills so that all this money and effort isn't wasted.
Then I went to work, which was supposed to be slow since Kathy's out of town, and was quite busy. Then I went to the Farmers Market and Walmart. It was an emergency - I was low on cheese and kitty litter, and the black ink cartridge bit the dust Saturday. Jen and Elyssa came by right after I got home. I had a conference call tonight, so I just had time to get things printed off for that and grab some dinner. I got off the call, checked Facebook and Pinterest, and here I am. And it's tomorrow already.
Now back to being punchy. Or maybe it's just my dark, critical care sense of humor coming out. I saw this on Pinterest tonight, and immediately thought of you. (Most things make me immediately think of you.) If I got to choose who lived longer, I'd have chosen to have us die together so neither of us would have had to live without the other. That's what we'd always wanted. Neither of us ever had any interest in living without the other one.
You wanted me to live on and enjoy my life - an oxymoron if ever there was one. I'm getting more accustomed to living this way as time passes, but that doesn't mean that I'm liking it. I know you always forgot something when we traveled, but I don't see how you could have left and forgotten to take me!
Can't wait to join you,


  1. Going together would have been our preference too! However since that I did not happen I prefer the way it did...him first. That sounds awful, but my reason... I never want him to hurt the way I do. Our day will come!

  2. It doesn't sound awful at all. I'd rather have had it this way, too. I have a network of friends and don't hesitate to call on them. John never realized how much people loved him, and I'm afraid he would have suffered alone. He was the gentle one and I was the tough one. I'm better suited to live alone, I think. Women tend to have and call on friends more than men do, and women-toughness is generally much tougher than men-toughness. Does that make a particle of sense?