Monday, August 26, 2013

Never Ever Say Things Can't Get Worse

Dear John,
I do hope you had a better day than I did. I spent most of it trying to climb the Widowhood Learning Curve. But first, I need to tell you that I heard from Nolon this morning. Gus died yesterday. It's not unexpected at all, and I'm happy for him. But it's hit me pretty hard. Gus and Mary and you and I got so close, and now I'm the only one left here. Give them my love! Hug them for me, enjoy being with them again, and tell them that I'll be there. As soon as Jen lets me dig!
Today's learning curve was about the Big Three credit companies. I went to the bank to sign papers for a home equity line of credit. They got the credit reports, and there were lots of things on them that shouldn't be. There were credit cards listed as being in your name only, but were on my credit report. The Inova loan that you had credit life on, that Inova closed and marked it "Paid in Full" was on there, listed that I defaulted on it. And one of them was penalizing me because it doesn't know about the mortgage. In spite of all that, Transunion gives me a 798. You would glance through the 28-page report and understand instantly where they came up with that. But it took me all day to comb through everything and figure out what I needed to dispute. But I did figure it out, and now I know how to read them, too.
So I started the dispute process. Or tried to. One of them says it will take them 48 hours to collect the information that they printed on the spot for the bank. One says the dispute system is down, please try later in the week, sorry if this inconveniences you. The third has a temporary problem with the data I have to input - it thinks there are no months with double-digit numbers.
Jen, bless her heart, is tracking down phone numbers for filing disputes, since I'm having no luck on line. Tomorrow I get to call Inova. There's no way I'm ever talking to Chase again as long as I live; they react to new widows like sharks do to blood in the water. Galen, of course, is looped in, and says if disputes fail to turn it over to him. It's so lovely to have an attorney in the wings.
So in the end, we shelved the application for now. Since I don't have pay stubs, the bank is struggling to figure out how to credit me with actual income. While they work on that, I'll dispute the necessary things on the credit reports. And I'm getting a raise and starting to get Lia Sophia income, so all of that will help, too.
And all of the above made me think of this. It always makes me chuckle. It's a dark, sardonic, sick kind of chuckle, but at least it's a chuckle. I remember how happy we were to see 2011 end, and said there was no way 2012 would be worse. Were we ever wrong! And now I'm putting this here for you to chuckle at, too. You'd think I would have learned not to issue challenges to life. Evidently Kathy's been doing that too - she just let me know that her air conditioning is out, and it's supposed to be 92 and humid tomorrow. And she warned me that tomorrow will be a long work-day. *sigh*
Your family is headed off to bed now. We love you and miss you. Thank you for handling all of this stuff for so many years. I'm learning and catching up! And I will stop saying that things can't get worse - "things" can be quite creative!
Adore you,


  1. One of the things I hate to hear the most: "You are a strong woman" Little do people know we really do not have a choice and woman are sting. But you Joan a a fighter for sure! ADMIRE

  2. Uh huh. I'm fighting because I don't have any choice. Today I wanted to run away and be a hermit in a lighthouse. But the dog lay down on my feet, and the cat lay down on the keyboard, and I kept at it because I had to. And I told myself that, at the end of the day, I could tell all my WFFs all about it and they'd love me and cheer me on! <3