Saturday, August 10, 2013

Of Barking & B!#@%ing

Dear John,
It's been a restful, if not quiet, day. I slept in, did some paperwork, and took a nap, and now there's a Steelers' pre-season game on.
The neighborhood has been noisy today. I don't know what's been going on - I can't see anything exciting out there - but all of the dogs on the block have barked and/or whimpered all day. Constantly. When Jethro is outside he barks constantly, too. When he's inside, he runs from one door to the other. He won't tell me what it's all about.
I'm paying today for mowing yesterday. The pain medicine gave me a good night's sleep, but I still feel like I've been run over by something large and fast-moving. Everything hurts, I'm exhausted, and my skin is tender to touch so that clothes hurt. I'm hoping to feel better in the morning so I can go to church. And I still need to weed and trim. And dust and vacuum.
I hate being without you for a lot of reasons, the main one being that I have to do it without you. But it's also frustrating. When I do just the bare essentials - go to work, mow once a week, and get groceries - I have nothing left for anything else. That's all I can do. I know it will be better when mowing season is over. But right now I'm feeling trapped and helpless.
So, any suggestions or advice? I want to cuddle up with you and have you tell me that it's going to be alright, that it didn't take God by surprise, and He has everything taken care of. Hearing it in my own voice doesn't quite measure up to hearing it in yours, I'm finding. I'll go to bed soon, and try to sleep without pain medicine so I can go to church. Unless pain keeps me up until 4 AM, like it did last night even after I took pain medicine. It's discouraging. *unprintable words*
If you can, please come by for a visit tonight and bring me some encouragement and words of wisdom. I love you and miss you more than I can say. But you know anyway, don't you?
Adore you,

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