Thursday, September 5, 2013

Missing Being Miserable wih You

Dear John,
It's been a long day. I had my post-op eye appointment this morning in Warsaw, had lunch while my eyes un-dilated, and went to work. After work I picked up milk and dog food, and got home at 8:00. I made calls about Saturday's Lia Sophia show, and relaxed at 9:00. And here I am. I'm tired. And I have two animals hanging on to me. They do get bothered when I don't get home at my usual time.
This morning I put my Woody Guthrie/Leadbelly CD on. It has been a while since I listened to it, and it brought back a lot of memories. It was the first one I listened to after you were diagnosed with cancer again in July of 2011, and I couldn't bear the music on the radio. It reminds me of those months, and from here they look wonderful. You were in and out of the hospital until they got your diuretics regulated, then chemo started, we were both dealing with the ramifications of the diagnosis, you were out of work and I got a job - to sum up, all hell was breaking loose. But we were doing it together. Anything that you were a part of looks good to me now. And we did manage to be happy together in spite of everything. Until the rehab hospital. That was awful for both of us, though we both put a good face on it. Now you're not here, so I get sentimental about a time when you had Stage III CHF and Stage IV lung cancer. How's that for convincing evidence that I miss you?
I'm off to bed now. I'm working tomorrow and having a show on Saturday morning, so I'd better get as much sleep as I can. 
I love you so, so much,

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