Eternity & Giant Bats

Dear John,

 

Look at this beautiful creature! It's called a Malaysian Flying Fox, it eats fruit and berries, and it's one of the few bats that doesn't have echolocation. And it's gorgeous. I love the way you can see the veins in its wings.

 

When we had bats in the house in Springfield, aren't you glad they weren't this big? The dog would have been terrified. You couldn't stun one of those with a tennis racket. I love this bat.

 

And I love you. I'm so glad you liked bats, too. You never thought I was being unfeminine. If you'd wanted a girly girl, you had plenty of chances in college. And all your life you always had a few little birds with broken wings following you around. You didn't always know it, though. You could be amazingly unaware of being hit on. I could always tell long before you figured it out, just by what you said about the women you worked with. They didn't know that the last thing you wanted was a helpless, needy woman. Your ideal woman was Fiona on Burn Notice.

 

You liked sharing science interests with me, liked looking at bats with me. We enjoyed talking about cell metabolism and transport systems. And then we'd wander off into discussing theology. We could talk about anything - or nothing - and love it. I miss that. I miss talking to you, and looking at you, and the way you looked at me, and the way you smelled, and how my head fit perfectly into the curve of your shoulder. I miss your mind and your heart and your soul, and all of you. 

 

For now, I'll have to be satisfied with great big gorgeous bats. And Jethro asleep at my feet, and Abby curled up in my lap, and a television that works, and a full gallon of milk in the fridge. And knowing that all is well with you while I wait to join you. Until then, Abby is warm and silky and purring in my lap, and I'll sleep in a warm bed with a dog and two cats and lovely flannel sheets, and have oatmeal with coconut oil for breakfast. On Thursday I'll get to go to church, and receive the body and blood of Christ, and eat Thanksgiving dinner with my friends. I'll give thanks for eternal life, for the Kingdom of God, that death is defeated and life reigns, and that I had you here with me for 38 years.

 

Looking forward to eternity,

Joan.