Dear John,
I finally did it - the Christmas decorations are up. And I hung four new wreaths, one in each of the front windows. I took out the screens and washed the windows - that big storm a couple of weeks ago blew crabapples off of the tree and smashed them into the house, leaving a mushed red mess on the windows. The house looks good from the street.
I didn't put up the tree - it didn't seem wise with two cats, one four months old. I wanted my favorite ornaments out and needed to hang them somewhere out of cat-reach. So I hung some garland on the wall over the television and hung ornaments on that, and I like it. I put some of my favorite fragile things on the shelf over the coat rack. I'll be able to do more next year when they're older. Unless Jethro continues on his present pace of collecting one kitten per year, in which case this situation may be permanent.
So the house looks nice, inside and out. And just as I was finishing up and sweeping, I realized that not a single living soul will see it. The neighbors will see the wreaths outside, but nobody will see the inside. Everybody is so busy with family and shopping this time of the year. But the cats are enjoying the garland and I like it. That has to be enough.
There's no place to put presents, but that's okay - all there will be is one for Jen and one for Elyssa. I hung up our stockings today. If you want your usual Ghirardelli chocolate, new underwear, and wretched disgusting honey-roast peanuts, you'll have to come and get them. Come any time, and don't bother to knock. Don't forget to bring chocolate-covered raisins for me!
Love and miss you unbelievable amounts,
Joan.
A very nice blog, I just have a diary. I am envious of people that knew their spouse was dying and got to spend time together, and say their last good byes, we didn't get that. I tell people what happened to us and they sometimes cry. It was heart breaking. Then again I think he did not suffer and we were happy until the end. No matter how a person loses a partner, its traumatic a and horrible.
ReplyDeleteJohn and I had talked a lot about that over the years. We decided that sudden death is easier on the person dying, and prolonged is easier on everybody else. In the end, he said he was glad to have time to prepare himself for death. I really feel for those of you that los husbands suddenly. I can't imagine surviving a shock like that. Watching death come closer was hard, but not as bad as that. And I was able to be with John at the end - I'm very thankful for that. Being widowed is horrible - there are really no polite words for it - but I can't imagine going through what you did. I'm so sorry.
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