Just one more thing before I go to sleep.
Tonight I'm humming it again - Gordon Lightfoot's Song for a Winter's Night. I would be happy just to hold the hands I love on this winter's night with you. Snowstorms always bring that song back to me.
I have Gordon on Pandora. I do tend to get sentimental this time of night, don't I? I seem to feel your absence so much more, the later it gets. Maybe it's just the silence of night, the naked emptiness that leaves you defenseless against what is in your heart.
Pandora just started Wedding Song. If I had any strength of mind, I'd skip it. But I can't quite do it. We - and everybody else, those days - had it sung at our wedding, in Ron's beautiful tenor voice.
A man shall leave his mother and a woman leave her home. I remember that it struck me at the time, that that was exactly what we did. You left your mother; I left my home. I was glad to leave culture, land, and home for you.
What's to be the reason for becoming man and wife? The reason isn't changed or erased by a little thing like death, is it? Love never fails. Even the Dread Pirate Wesley knew that. All the people who tell me to move on, forget, find a new husband, must not know the kind of love I do, we do. "Until death do us part" is not a part of the Orthodox wedding vows.
That's all. That's more than I planned to say. I just wanted to tell you that it's another winter's night, and I'd be happy just to hold the hands I love.