Saturday, February 22, 2014

Nightmares & Rowing to Syracuse

Dear John,
Jethro is my Protector
I need help with this dream thing again. I got to sleep around midnight last night, and got up at 2:30 to get away from the nightmares. I kept waking up screaming. Jethro stayed right by me, bless him, even though I kept waking him up screaming in his ear. The cats stayed close, too, Hunter under the bed and Abby on my legs. They do love their mama.
I don't remember much about the dreams, except that they were horrific. The theme seemed to be this disgusting hunk that people were trying to force me to marry and that I was running from. In the last dream, somebody broke into the house and stabbed him. He came to me for help and I pushed him away, and woke up screaming, "I don't care. I just want John back."
That's when I decided to get up. I sat up with Facebook and Pinterest for two hours. Then I went back to sleep with no more nightmares, just average dreams. I can't imagine why I had such awful nightmares. It's been years since I've had dreams that terrified me like those did. It took me two hours to get the courage to turn the light off. If I didn't have a German shepherd, I'd probably still be up. I didn't do anything different, so it must just be my head. I hate thinking that I have things like that in my head.
Going South out of Topeka
Today was Nicole's baby shower, so I've had a lovely day. It was good to be together with church friends and have time to sit and talk. I know that I don't get as much time with people as I need, working alone in a basement office. Today was good for me. I thought I was going to have to row there, though. Three of the four roads out of Topeka were under water and closed; the fourth was just under a couple of inches. I went state and US routes all the way, and still drove through some areas of running water. It was worse coming home - in some places, the water was three or four inches deep and we were all driving through at dead-slow speed. It will freeze tonight, so getting to church in the morning may involve cross-country skiing instead of rowing.
I'm afraid to go to bed tonight. The nightmares were so horrible and I don't want to do that again. All I can do is pray about it at bedtime. Remember how, whenever I had a nightmare, you'd wake up and pray for me, and I'd go back to sleep and not have anymore? Please pray for me tonight, that I won't have nightmares and that I won't be scared to go to sleep. And keep that scary hunk away from me!
Missing you,

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