Thursday, February 27, 2014

Sports, Recovery, & Real Women

Dear John,
 
Thank you for listening last night - it helped to talk to you. I couldn't go to sleep so I got on-line and did some more digging. The ER question is taken care of because I got POS added to the policy - it means that Anthem will cover emergency costs at any hospital. And I dug through the Parkview site and found out that LaGrange Hospital is in network because it's part of the Parkview system now. All I will lose is the South Bend Clinic, and that's not anything terrible. If Joe doesn't want to handle my asthma, I'll get transferred to Dr. Patel. He's known us for years and he's local.
 
Getting to work was interesting today - snow, blowing snow, drifting snow, ice, and poor visibility. We're under another wind chill advisory and blowing-&-drifting advisory, and they're still debating whether we'll get a major winter storm this weekend. Just in case, I stocked up on milk, dog food, cat food, and kitty litter today. We're prepared for whatever comes.
 
I got off early and got home in time to watch the Cubs' first exhibition game this season, and the first game in their new park in Mesa. I think it's the first whole game I've watched since you died, and it felt good. I enjoyed the feel and rhythm of it. It didn't hurt to see that it's warm somewhere. You'd love the new park; it was built to mimic Wrigley Field. And that's something I'm so sorry that you're going to miss - this year is Wrigley will turn 100.
 
We had so many wonderful days there, didn't we? When we lived in South Bend we went to about twenty games a year, and always sat in the same place with the same group of friends. Then we ate at Leona's or Leona's Sons on the way home, and reeked of garlic for days. Good memories.
 
Maybe this year I'll be able to go back to baseball. I've tried for the last two summers, but all I could see was that you weren't watching with me. I've lost touch with the team and will have to get to know the new people. But there's a certain amount of that every year, so it's okay. I won't pressure myself - I promise. But I'd be happy to be able to enjoy it again.
 
For now, it's dark outside and ESPN is carrying Arkansas at Kentucky, so it's SEC time. I can finally enjoy watching games at Rupp Arena. We went to the first game there, didn't we? When I was a freshman, I went to games at old Memorial Coliseum. I don't think we ever missed a game. More good memories.
 
I must be making progress - there are more thing we did together, that I can enjoy alone. Like I said Sunday, I'm learning to take things on their own terms instead of being overwhelmed by the awareness that you're not here. Your mother approves, and I know that you do, too. It boils down to making the best of a bad situation.
 
Thanks for the memories,
Joan.

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