Dear John,
It's 60, the windows are open, the dog is sleeping off our walk, and both cats are in the windowsill. The weather is a hit. (sorry about the papers on the floor - it's tax season)

It got a little worse today. I got an email from the state Department of Education that Fairfield school system had refused me as a sub. It's probably because they don't have my transcripts yet - these things have a long processing time. Nobody told me that I had to have them in before doing the state application, but I'm guessing that is the problem. I'll go by and talk to them tomorrow. If I'm right (and I can't imaging any other reason to be turned down - my background check is deadly boring), then I'll have to pay the state processing fee a second time. I already have over $100 invested in this process. It wasn't this complicated when we first started subbing, was it?

Things are a bit challenging right now. You're not completely responsible for my unhappiness - there are plenty of other factors - except that all of this could have been avoided if you'd remembered to take me with you. But I know that you've always wanted to know what I was thinking and feeling, so here it is. It's not very pretty. But neither am I, and you've always loved me anyway. And I need you to pray for me, so you have to know what's going on. You probably do whether I tell you or not - maybe telling you is really so I can work things out in my own head. I always understand myself better after I explain me to you.
Thank you for helping me make sense of myself. Thank you for listening so patiently when I babble. Thank you for accepting me and whatever I'm feeling, even when neither is pretty. Please pray for me. My faith muscles are tired and sore, but they probably can benchpress a Buick.
Love you for listening,
Joan.
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