Monday, April 28, 2014

On Getting What I Need

Dear John,
I'm home, I'm tired, I had a good day, and my brain is sore.

I started out with the usual government paperwork, and spent the rest of the day reading manuals and watching films. It seems that this training will be very thorough, which is good since I've never done anything like this. I'm learning a lot and it's interesting. I'm busy building a brand new set of hooks in my head to hang things on. And, like most home improvement projects, I enjoy that.
I'm getting what I need, which is not what I want. The Rolling Stones got their theology right that time. I can't have what I want, which is you. But I'm grateful for having what I need, which is this job. It looks like something that I can do well and enjoy doing.
The hard part will be getting the finances through the next couple of weeks, which includes the property taxes coming due. After that I should be okay, and even be able to put something away for emergencies. These next two weeks should be my last really desperate stretch.
I can't have what I want, but I'm getting what I need. And that will do. I will be okay. I'll never be the kind of happy that I was with you, but that's okay, too. I'm thankful to have what I need. I will learn to enjoy this new life, like all the widows before me and beside me have done. And one day I'll be back with you again.
Until then!

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