Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Happy Anniversary, My Love

Dear John,
 
Happy anniversary, my love! We've been married thirty-six years today. We only got to spend thirty-four of those years together. But we've been married for thirty-six years. I'm still just as married to you as I was when you were here on earth. You can't unscramble an egg.
 
I wanted to talk to you about memories of our wedding, but today I just can't do it. Spending this anniversary alone hurts, and I can't see the good memories right now, just the pain. I'll get there. But it won't be today.
 
I looked through my On Widowhood board on Pinterest tonight. I didn't help decrease the pain I feel. I am alive and doing well - the job is going well, and it's putting me on a much firmer financial foundation. Spring is here, my animals love me. And all I want is to be with you.
 
I know that you knew, and know, how happy I was with you. You also knew, and know, how little I wanted to out-live you. Know that I love you more than I can ever say, more than life, more than all of this world put together. Please pray for me, that it won't be long until I'm with you again.
 
Worship the ground you walk on,
Joan.

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