On Headscarves

Dear John,

 

I found this and thought about you. You loved to buy me beautiful scarves and shawls to wear to church. One of the things I love about being Orthodox is covering my head at church - it helps me focus better, pray better, be less distracted, and know where I am. And you got me so many scarves and shawls to wear.

 

I still get compliments on them. People are surprised when I say, "John got me that." They don't expect a man to buy things like that for a woman, I suppose. But you knew that I liked them and would use them, and wouldn't be likely to buy them for myself. So you kept an eye out for pretty ones.

 

I've bought a few since you died. There's a place in Fort Wayne that has the most beautiful ones I've ever seen, for less than twenty dollars. You'd love going there and seeing all of them. When I buy them for myself now I don't feel sad - I know that I'm doing something that you want me to do, and it makes me happy. And it's a very happy thing to wear the ones you gave me.

 

Thank you for paying attention to what I liked. Thank you for wanting to do things that would make me happy. Of course, you made me happy without doing anything at all. And remembering you still makes me happy.

 

Still loving the scarves you gave me,

Joan.