Sunday, June 22, 2014

Standing Alone with a Full Lap

Dear John,
 
I'm tired and sore, and the yard looks better. And there's a new lawnmower in the garage.
 
I slept in this morning. I really wanted to go to church, but knew I couldn't handle the crowd. I'm going to call Joe's office at lunch tomorrow and see if I can get in on Wednesday. It's a hard day of the week to get an appointment, but it's my permanent day off so I'm hoping for the best.
 
This was my lap this morning. They're so happy when I don't leave that they mob me in bed - they do not approve of me working full time. I finally got a good photo of them all piled up together. They really do love each other. One reason I don't dig at the cemetery - besides the fact that Jen has forbidden it - is that I want them to stay together and I don't know anybody that would be willing to take all three of them after my death. It would break their hearts to be separated.
 
After breakfast and prayer time, I went out to work in the yard. I trimmed and weeded, then I pruned over two feet off the nine bark bushes in the front of the house. They grow over a foot every month and it's very annoying. I keep thinking about pulling them out and putting in something that requires less maintenance. What do you think? It's hard to keep them from covering the windows, much less the window boxes and flowers, and they're not pretty enough to be worth this much trouble. Something evergreen would be nice there, or maybe even dwarf burning bushes - they look so good all four seasons.
 
Enough gardening for tonight - I'm working tomorrow so I need to head off to bed. We're past the solstice now, so sunset will start coming earlier. That will make it easier to go to sleep at night, but I hate losing the early morning light. I remember how sad Mertice always was when the days started getting shorter. I wish Indiana still stayed on standard time - then we'd get the early light without being kept up past our bedtimes. We loved that about the state when we first moved here. I remember how disappointed we were when we had to start going to daylight time.
 
I'll miss you tonight - it's hard to be without you anytime, but especially now that I'm struggling with all this anxiety. I never was much of a leaner, but it was wonderful to have you to lean on when I needed to. I wish I could right now - I feel the need to lean for a bit. Please pray for me, that I can keep standing alone. At least my lap is full.
 
Missing you,
Joan.

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