Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Wedding Rings & Scatty Things

Dear John,
 
Today was "Son of Dysentery & Dishcloths." I finally got to sleep last night after I threw up at 2 AM, and I thought that was the end of it. It wasn't. I called in from the bathroom again. They're being very nice and sympathetic about it. And nobody wants me spreading this any farther. So I slept until 10:00, stayed in bed until I could get away from the bathroom, and knitted, napped, and watched an Animal Planet marathon. Sound familiar?
 
This evening I was listening to Pandora and heard "Nights in White Satin." One part struck me: "Streets full of people, some hand in hand. Just what I'm going through they can't understand. Some try to tell me thoughts they cannot defend." I know it wasn't written by or about widows. But that is very true for all of us. We don't mind when the non-widows don't understand - we didn't either until it happened to us. All we want is for people to understand that they can't understand. When people try to should me, I want to say, "Thank you! And how long have YOU been widowed?"
 
Lately my mind has been going back to all of the people who think that it's creepy that I'm still in love with you. Thank goodness, the people I work with don't think that, possibly because most of them knew you. But most people do think that. Becky found this, and it sums up wonderfully just how I feel.

And speaking of you waiting for me, I've been pondering something else. You know I had you buried in your wedding ring. I couldn't bear to take it off of your hand or see your hand without it. I think I'd like to be buried in mine, too. That way, when the general resurrection comes, we'll both be wearing our wedding rings. I'd hate to come to you and find you wearing your ring and not be wearing mine.

That's probably enough rambling for one night - sorry to be so scatty. To sum up: I'm still sick, I'm still in love with you, I'm still your wife. No surprises there, huh? I hope the tummy virus has run its course. No other status changes are expected!

Still in love,
Joan.

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