Monday, August 11, 2014

Of Yarn and Rain

Dear John,
It finally rained today. Thank you if your prayers had anything to do with it. The grass is already turning green and I believe I can hear it growing. It's crucial right now because the corn is putting out ears. I've never seen an entire town so excited about rain.
There is some kind of recovery going on in me. I'm beginning to enjoy knitting the way that I used to before your death. I've knitted since then, but because I needed to and without getting pleasure from it. Now I'm feeling the love and deep satisfaction that I used to. Again, thanks if your prayers had anything to do with it.
I don't know what my problem was. Maybe it was all the hours I spent knitting in hospital rooms the last three months of your life? I don't think so, because I enjoyed those hours so much. It's more likely an alteration in my attention span during the first couple of years of widowhood. It took me almost that long to be able to read a book again; I couldn't make my brain sit still long enough. Widowbrain is a very real thing, you know.
Whatever it was, it's much better now. I'm starting to think ahead about new projects to start after the Christmas-present dishcloths are done. I can't wait to get back to knitting socks! That's always my favorite. I have patterns I want to try. I may even make some socks for myself - how's that for self-indulgence?
The days are getting shorter now, and in the evening you'll find me curled up with yarn and needles. Stop by and help me wind a few skeins!
Love you more than yarn,

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