On Patience

Dear John,

 

We had enough weather today to last us all week. There was sun and light rain and downpours and thunder and lightning and blue sky and almost-darkness. Nobody got bored and nearly everybody got wet. All of that weather gave the lobby and slow day and me a very busy one. It wasn't Friday-frantic, but steady with very few breaks. It was a smart move today to stay in your car and just drive up. My day went quickly. And Tammy brought pulled pork for all of us for lunch - very yummy, and nobody had to go outside to get food.

 

This job is so good for me. The financial stability is certainly welcome, but it's much more than that. It's healthy for me to have human contact after working alone in a basement office. I like the people I work with and enjoy my regular customers. As I learn a new field and get good at it, I'm regaining some of the self-confidence that went with you when you left.

 

There seems to be a symbolic value to this job as well. Because it is something I didn't do when you were here, it makes me feel like I've started a new chapter of my life. And that has a feeling of progress and growth to it. I had expected that to happen with a new job, I just expected that job to come much sooner than it did. But I had no idea how long widowbrain lasts - I wasn't ready for a new job until this one came along.

 

As usual, the Lord's timing is perfect. When I pinned this to my Widowhood board I was thinking about wanting to go home and join you. But it applies to much more than that, and this job is one of those things. I suppose it applies to absolutely everything.

 

So I'm grateful for this job. I'm grateful for everything in my life except your absence and, sometimes, life itself. But I will try to relax, breathe, and be patient. I will get there when I'm meant to get there.

 

On my way,

Joan.