Thursday, September 25, 2014

Club of the Living Dead

Dear John,
 
I have a screw loose. You know that two years ago I had my verb tenses confused - I kept talking about you in the present tense and myself in past. I seem to be experiencing further mental deterioration.
 
Last night I found myself thinking about the day you died as the day WE died. I spent some time crawling around in the back of my head without figuring it out. So I went to the experts. I asked the WFFs if any of them ever did that.
 
We appear to have a consensus. It seems that I am being normal again. Several of them do or have done the same thing. We didn't get it figured out, but at least we are not alone. And several of us feel like we're dead and alive at the same time - still here, but just going through the motions.
 
Does that make widowhood a sort of Club of the Living Dead? And if so, do we have to walk in slow motion and act stupid? There are certainly days that I do that. But I am maintaining basic hygiene - I promise.
 
That's all for tonight - just my deteriorating mental state. And, as usual, you're to blame because you forgot to take me with you. And no, I'm never going to let you forget it. You may have forgotten me, but you'll never forget forgetting!
 
Your deteriorating wife,
Joan.

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