Saturday, October 11, 2014

Broken Glass & Barbecue

Dear John,
 
I ran errands in Goshen after work today. While I was in Meijer I heard Annie Lennox' "Broken Glass." I remember how much we both liked the song. It has a different meaning for me now.
The sun's still shining in the big blue sky, but it don't mean nothing to me. Oh, let the rain come down, let the wind blow through me. I'm living in an empty room with all the windows smashed. And I've got so little left to lose that it feels just like I'm walking on broken glass. 
 And that sums it up. I've learned to be content with my life. But this is still my reality. We're resilient creatures; we can learn to be content with almost anything, even walking on broken glass.
 
And, on a lighter note: Remember the guy that wanted to go out with me? I told him that I wasn't going to date anybody, but would meet him at the coffee shop if it was just as friends. That way he'd see how old I am and see if we even want to be friends. It was supposed to be for lunch right after work today. But I got a text from him that his work schedule was changed and he couldn't make it. So I went to Goshen, got Wendy's to go, and had a picnic with you. I sat there on the ground and laughed at myself: I'd much rather have lunch at your grave than at a restaurant with a living man that's interested in me. That says everything about me that any man needs to know.
 
And speaking of lunch: I got Wendy's new pulled pork sandwich. It's not North Carolina barbecue - the sauce is tomato-based - but they did get one thing right. It has slaw on it. It was pretty good, for up-north mass-produced barbecue. The ants and yellow jackets agreed. I was overrun by them. I finished the sandwich and set the open container a yard away, and was left in peace while I said prayers for you.
 
Now I'm back at home and watching Notre Dame beat Carolina. At least, I hope so. The Irish are up by seven with forty-seven seconds left in the fourth quarter. I have to agree with the state of Kentucky: UK blue is what Carolina blue wants to be when it grows up. It's just so pastel.
 
Notre Dame won. All is right with the world. The fall colors are beautiful, the sky is clear, the nights are cool, and animals are asleep, and I'll be off to bed soon. And you can rest tonight knowing that I'd still much rather be with you than any man alive.
 
Love you with all my heart,
Joan.


 

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