Sunday, October 19, 2014

Grief According to the Beatles

Dear John,
 
I was listening to the radio this morning on the way to church. (with the heat on in the car - it was 29 when I got up) Do-Wop Nation didn't do much for me, so I tuned in to Breakfast with the Beatles. They seemed to have a line-up planned just for us.
 
The first song was Things We Said Today:

Someday, when I'm lonely, wishing you weren't so far away, then I will remember things we said today.
Oh, how many days there are to remember, and how many things said! We never, ever left anything unsaid. That's the gift of our knowledge of our mortality. The first thing I thought about, though, was that day at Methodist, right before your first trip to the cath lab, that you sat me down and said there were things you wanted to be sure you said to me in case you didn't come back. I will hold those three things in my heart forever. I'm not sure what meant more, the things themselves, or how important it was to you to be sure that I knew them. We had always known that our time together could be very short. But something in those days made us extremely sensitive to that fact. I so cherish that month we spent in Indy, every day spent together in your hospital room, no responsibilities to distract us from each other and the task of recovery that was at hand. I will always remember the things we said that day.
 
The second song was All My Loving: 
I'll pretend that I'm kissing the lips I am missing, and hope that my dreams will come true. And then while I'm away I'll write home every day, and send all my loving to you.
That's what I do here. You're home now; I'm the one who is away. So I come here at night and write home, and every day I send all my love to you. I doubt this was what anybody had in mind when the song was released. But it has that meaning for me now. And that is why I am here - to tend our relationship, ease my grief, and send my love to you.

The third song is one I've mentioned here before, Let it Be. As Mary said to Gabriel, "Let it be to me as you have said." That is the radical submission to the will of God that is the framework of my grief. God is all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-loving. So this is what is best for both of us. It is easy to see your good; you are healed and healthy at last. My good is not immediately obvious. For that, I live by faith and not by sight. Every day I choose to accept God's will for me and know that it is for my eternal good.

So today I bring you Grief According to the Beatles. I come to send my love to you, remember your words to me, and submit to God in my widowhood. May I not be away from home very long!

Sending all my loving to you,
Joan.





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