How Not to Celebrate Domestic Violence Week

Dear John,

 

October is Domestic Violence Month. Once again, I have to thank you for never killing me. I used to say that to you when I'd been watching too much television. Today I have a reason from real life. I have a friend whose ex-husband beat her up last night. She got away by jumping out a second-story window. She is injured but alive. Restraining order is in place, arrest warrant is in process, women's shelter information has been shared.

 

I can't imagine what it would be like to be afraid of your husband.  My closest experience was when I was stalked in college; that doesn't begin to compare to being in an abusive marriage. When you marry someone, you make yourself completely vulnerable to them - physically, emotionally, financially, every possible way. I knew at first sight that you were safe. I have always trusted you completely. You might hurt me by doing something dumb like bringing that rose by the dorm, but never intentionally.

 

So I hurt for my friend and all the women like her. And tonight I'm more aware of the wonderful man that you are. So thank you for never killing me, never wanting to hurt me in any way. Thank you for being you. In case I haven't told you lately, I adore you.

 

Thank you,

Joan.