Today I've been thinking about vulnerability. It seems there is nothing that melts the human heart like receiving the love and trust of a creature that is completely vulnerable to us. That's what makes us love children and baby animals. Glance at Facebook and you'll see that it's universal.
I've been experiencing that with the animals, especially Maggie. She's so little and small-boned, and feels so frail in my hands. Of course, she's made of rubber like all cats are. But she is so vulnerable to me. I control the food, water, litter, veterinary care, and safety for all of them, and I'm so much bigger and stronger. And they love me and trust me completely. They all love to sleep cuddled up with me, they welcome my touch anywhere and anytime, they greet me when I come home. And they were that way from the beginning - they immediately trusted me without me doing anything to earn it. When I went to Angi's house and she first put Hunter in my arms, he snuggle up and purred. The other two were feral, but I first picked them up and they did the same thing.
I am completely undeserving of this unearned, unconditional love and confidence. Sinner than I am, how do I come to be loved by creatures without sin? Does that sinlessness itself give them the ability to love and trust as I can't?
And all of this sheds light on the times you said it meant so much to you that I trusted you enough to go to sleep in your arms. You never used the power that your size, strength, and gender gave you over me, but it was very real power and I know that you felt it's presence and the responsibility it laid on you. And now, when I hold Maggie in my arms and she closes her eyes tight, snuggles up, and purrs, I understand.
Somehow it all ties in with the Garden of Eden, with the relationship we had with animals and with each other before sin came. As Handel wrote, "The kingdom of this world is become the Kingdom of our God and of His Christ." And so it is appropriate to ponder this as we approach the Incarnation. And it raises the question: Do I have the love and trust for God that my animals have for me? That's something to work on.
Thank you for listening to me ramble and think. Thank you for waiting patiently until I could understand what you meant. Thank you for being worthy of my love and trust. Pray that I may be worthy of the animals.
Still loving and trusting you,