I'm back! It feels like I haven't been able to talk to you in years. It was difficult and unpleasant to a greater degree than I'd expected. And while I couldn't talk to you, we passed the 2 3/4 year mark of being separated. It wasn't a good day. But now I'm back, and I promise to talk your ear off tonight. We have some catching up to do.
First, about the computer: I took it to Microsource today. The cord and connection were fine. The he took out the battery, discharged the built-up electrical charge, turned it on, and it came right up. That was all it needed. He could have talked me through that if I'd been able to call from home where the computer was, but because of their hours and mine, I could only call from the bank during my lunch break. Now I know what to do if it happens again. I learned some interesting stuff, have my computer back, and it didn't cost anything. And it's just in the nick of time - I have two bills to pay tomorrow, and I thought I was going to have to do it over the phone. I'm happy.
I didn't get to tell you, but I'm sure you already know: Dick died last week. I took my lunch break to go to his funeral on Monday. It felt very strange to be there without you, especially for a funeral, and know that you went ahead of Dick. He was 82; we first met him when he was 62. This is the first time I've lived in a place long enough to watch people grow old and die, and it still feels very strange. After you look Dick up, please find the husband of another of Becky's college roommates. He got there a day or two ago. Invite him to join you and the rest of our men, and look after him.
I took Jen out for her birthday today, and she told me that you came and talked to her last night. She appreciated it so much. Thank you for that - she really misses you. She loves you very much, you know, and losing you has been hard for her. I'm glad you visited her. Thank you for thinking about us.
I finally found out who left that note for me. It was our neighbor, like I thought. He's divorced - I missed that, since I live very happily outside the town grapevine. He isn't looking for anything romantic, and I made it clear that I am not. He just wants a single friend his own age, somebody to go places with, and I've been wanting the same thing. We've been friends and neighbors, and I'd enjoy going to First Friday or the fair with him. So if anybody tells you that I'm dating, I most certainly am not. I have a husband - it will take much more than death to get rid of me. "Until death do us part" is for sissies.
I love you so much. I miss you every day, and it was even worse when I couldn't come here and talk to you. Passing the 2 3/4-year mark was hard, the hardest day I've had in a few months. None of this is linear and I know that, but some little part of me seems to expect grief to be an orderly process. It is neither orderly nor logical. Sadly, it appears to be survivable. Come visit me some night, like you did Jen. Maybe you could take me with you when you go?