Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Neither a Rock Nor an Island Be: Polonius Meets Paul Simon

Dear John,
 
It was slower at work today and I was thinking about the animals, when I became aware of something unpleasant. I realized that, because I love them so much, someday I'll have to grieve again.
 
Obvious, isn't it? I've had other griefs since you died, lost friends and family members, including your mother. But there's nothing quite like losing somebody you live with, spend time with every day, and depend on emotionally. Jen and the girls should easily outlive me. But I will almost certainly outlive Jethro. Cats can live up to and beyond twenty years, so I seriously hope I don't live as long as they do. But it is quite possible that I will lose one or more of them. If that is the case, I will grieve again.
 
I remember when Simon and Garfunkel's "I am a Rock" came out. By that time I'd already figured out that loving will invariably be followed by pain, and I'd decided that it was worth it. It still is. But it was a sobering realization that I had today. Life is pain; anybody that says anything else is selling something.
 
We have quite a convergence here, don't we? Polonius and Paul Simon and the Dread Pirate Westley. Wisdom comes from all kinds of places. I am neither rock nor island. I love lots of people and animals so there will almost certainly be more loss in my life. But if I have survived losing you, I can survive anything. And I live with the hope of being reunited in Heaven. Gather all our animals and parents, and meet me at the gate!
 
Watching and waiting,
Joan. 

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