My widowfriends and I have a new issue. Most of us are getting our financial feet on the ground after the fiduciary chaos of the first year or two. Some of us are discovering that we are in better shape financially than we were before. We're glad about it, but we're also having a collective issue with guilt.
Some of our men had life insurance. You didn't - not for lack of trying, but nobody in their right mind would insure you. So my change in circumstances isn't dramatic, but it is very real. The largest factor was having credit life on the home improvement loan. The property taxes and home-owner's insurance have gone down just because the house is older now. And it's cheaper to have one car instead of two and pay for food, utilities, clothes, and what-not for only one person. I don't eat out or travel without you, so there is less expense there.
It's all quite understandable and quantifiable. And I'm grateful - we all are - especially since we live without back-up now. But there is a temptation to feel guilty. It's silly, but we can all be silly sometimes. We'd be glad to give up financial security and live out of a shopping cart under an overpass to have our men back. It just seems wrong that there could be anything good about widowhood.
There doesn't seem to be anything here that needs solving. I'm just mulling out loud to you. Please talk to the other men for us. Thank them for all they did, and still do, to take care of us. Let them know that we're grateful. And I know it isn't necessary, but do remind yourself and them that we'd gladly give everything in the world to have you back.
Your silly, solvent womenfolk,