Wednesday, April 29, 2015

And How the Hens and Johnny Depp Got Involved

Dear John,
 
The third assassination attempt occurred early this morning and came from an unexpected source. Hens. Somebody's hens tried to kill me.
 
You know I get my eggs locally - free-range chickens, fed real food, no antibiotics or hormones. And they're cheaper than the store and they taste wonderful. That is, until you get a bad one. Or two dozen.
 
I started this dozen eggs a couple of day ago. The first one was fine. The second looked a bit questionable, but smelled and tasted fine. The third looked and smelled bad so I didn't eat it. The fourth looked funny but I was in a hurry and ate it. And it had me up sick last night and this morning. I had the expected gastric reaction and ran a temperature of 100-101. I texted that I wouldn't be in to work, went back to bed, and didn't get up until 2:00 this afternoon. And - brace yourself for a shock - I didn't even make up the bed today. I can count on the fingers of one hand how often in my life I've left my bed unmade. But today was one of them. I've felt perfectly awful all day. I figured out the egg thing when I cracked one open tonight and the yolk was black. I threw out the rest of that dozen and cracked the first egg in the next carton, and it was bad, too. So I just had toast tonight. At least I know I'm not contagious. And I should feel fine tomorrow. I believe I'll have oatmeal for breakfast. And I keep hearing Johnny Depp singing, "And really bad eggs."
 
How's that for the week's entertainment? Life never gets dull. You and I used to wonder if we'd like being bored, since neither of us had ever tried it. I still haven't, and I'm sure it hasn't happened to you since you left. I suppose only-children and youngest-by-five-years have low thresholds of entertainment. I'd be happy to have a normal day!
 
By the way, please pray extra for all of my widowfriends. We appear to have a trend of falling down. Nobody has been seriously injured, thank goodness, but do pray for us - that we will be safe, and that we will learn and respect our limits. That's a hard one for all of us. It would help if you guys would just show up when we need you!
 
Still alive,
Joan.

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