Sunday, April 26, 2015

Hybrid Dreams & Logical Inconsistencies

Dear John,
 
I dreamed about you last night. Thanks for the visit - it's been a while!
 
In my dream there was some guy that was accusing you of running into his car with yours and then beating him up. To cut to the end, I succeeded in proving that the damage to his car wasn't from another car but was bullet holes. And I proved you hadn't beaten him up because he claimed your wedding ring caused the damage to his face, and I could prove that you'd been buried in your wedding ring; I had you exhumed and it was still on your hand.
 
Yes, I am aware of the presence of logical inconsistencies. That's what dreams are all about. It was an interesting hybrid. It had elements both of my dreams the first year after your death, when I was always trying to rescue you from something, and of the later dreams where you're back but at the same time you're still dead.
 
I hope the time will come when I will dream about simply enjoying being with you. Let's go to Holland or Mackinac, or maybe the Cincinnati Zoo and then to Gold Star Chili for dinner. Let's go to the Chief for ice cream and sit on the little hill behind it and talk. Come and tell me what your life is like now, and what you think about my life. Tell me all the things you couldn't say your last month because you were intubated. Tell me what you saw those minutes before you died, that delighted you so much. Or just sit by me and don't say a word. That would be fine, too. All I want is you, you know.
 
Missing you,
Joan.

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