Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Gibbs-Slaps & Silliness

Dear John,
It's time for true confessions. I realized today that I've been getting my feelings hurt easily for the last few days. I'm obviously not premenstrual, so I was wondering what was causing it. I realized that I'm feeling vulnerable for a very silly reason. (I can be as silly as anybody else when I put my mind to it.)
It has to do with vacation. I'm so excited about it, but I'm also having a shy attack. I'm visiting two of my best and oldest friends, and part of me is concerned about bothering them. Part of me still can't believe people like me. I'm almost sixty and I still haven't outgrown this.
The Gibbs slap is unnecessary; I have administered my own. I can list lots of things that have contributed to my problem, but it's really just me being silly (and possibly a bit neurotic). As with most things, figuring out what has been going on in the back of my head solves ninety percent of the problem. A small part of me occasionally reverts to the childhood shyness and still expects to be the last one chosen for the team.
You were always my reality check and I miss that at times like this. You knew when my perceptions were accurate and when I was just being emotional and insecure. Sometimes it was a bit alarming how clearly you saw into my head. But you love me in spite of all that - I've never doubted your love for me. Come and Gibbs-slap me tonight if you want to. And stay and cuddle and talk some sense into me. I can always use that!
Adore you,

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