Dear John,
I figured out why I've been hurting and missing you more than usual. I've been re-working my Widowhood board on Pinterest, dividing it into several other boards. That involves reading each pin. Not surprisingly, that has had an emotional effect on me.
I've needed to do this for a long time. The board had so much on it that I couldn't find anything. Now I have boards about the present reality, looking back, looking ahead, looking within, looking up, the arts, humor, what grief is and isn't, walking together, the moment of death, and those dreadful holidays. It's quite a mixture, isn't it? That isn't surprising since widowhood affects every part of your life. It changes everything. So my widowhood boards are going to be all over the place.
It's good for me to do this. As I read through them, I can see how far I've come in three years. The first ones I pinned were about raw pain and shock. Then I collected statements about grief. When our little widowgroup came together, I saved things for us. The pins gradually became more hopeful, more often about the future. There was even humor, too - it's dark humor, but that always was our favorite kind.

It's time to get the crew off to bed. We're expecting storms tonight. I do hope not - I'd prefer to sleep without a dog in my head. But we'll all get through whatever comes!
Sleep well tonight. Love you immensely,
Joan.
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