Monday, July 20, 2015

Dreams & Nightmares

Dear John,
I felt good enough today to get to work, and even good enough to enjoy it. Then I came home, the adrenaline level dropped, and I feel like I was run over by a herd of something large and hooved. I'm still dealing with this flare. Heaven only knows what I'll feel like in the morning.
For some reason, I've been sad and missing you today. Maybe it's because I've been feeling bad - that always makes me miss you more. Maybe it's because it's summer and everybody else is talking about family activities. Maybe it's just that widowhood is not linear.
Whatever it is, I would so love for you to visit my dreams tonight. Right now I'd be glad to have a nightmare if you were in it. So how's that for an invitation? Plan the dream of your choosing; just be a part of it. Tonight I'd rather be in a bad dream with you than in a good one without you. Medical emergencies, zombies, psychotic tax accountants - take your pick. I'll be happy with whatever you decide.
Can't wait!

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