First, Last, All, & Always

Dear John,

 

I had a good, busy day. After work I went to Goshen. I exchanged the wrong toilet seat for the right one, ate lunch, then brought ice cream out to eat with you. In case you noticed my unusual manner of consuming the sundae, they didn't give me a spoon, probably because I got it to go and they assumed I was taking it home. So I tore up the top cover and used a chunk of it as a scoop to eat with. It made a bit more of a mess, but the ants had a good time. And it was lovely in the cemetery today - 85, cloudy, and the breeze smelled wonderful. It's that July smell - Queen Ann's lace, sun on the grass, trees, and whatever else it is that makes July smell so good. I enjoyed being there. On the way to our spot I was grinning like a teenager, so excited that I was coming to see you. Well, not see you physically, but visit you. Whatever it was, it was good.

 

On the way home I heard Cheap Trick doing "The Flame," and the words struck me: You were the first, you'll be the last. It feels good to be able to say that about you. You're first, last, all, and always. It's good to know that. And I am all that to you, as well. I enjoy my life - I get to keep the house, I love my job and my animals, and I have friends and family who love me. Life is perfect except that you're not here. That is a major issue. But you're there, and that's better for you. And I'll get there.

 

Your first, last, and always,

Joan.